O holy night

[rootbeer1]

My orthopedic surgeon told me before surgery that my leg bone had shattered to the point that I needed a very minor bone graft. A small piece of donated bone would be sterilized and then inserted into the gap on my tibia, and my own bone tissue would fuse with it and then begin healing.

This caused me no end of worry. What if my bone donor was ... was ... a MURTHERER??! What if that killer was bad to the bone??! Ba-ba-bad! Ba-ba-bad! What if his evil lived on ... beyond the grave??! And ... resided in my leg! I could be standing on a MUNI platform, peacefully minding my own business, when my murderous limb could kick out savagely, shoving qbear onto the train tracks!

But when I thought about it, I realized:

1. Murderers, being criminals, are more than likely greedy and covetous, and would rarely give anything to strangers, much less donate their body parts.
2. Donating body parts to others is, in fact, a wonderful thing to do. It's a sign of a generous nature and a good soul.
3. It is, in fact ... saintly.

And what's the word for the bone of a saint? A relic.

Ergo ...

I have a holy relic in my leg.

Comments

[greatbearmd.livejournal.com]

When my partner had the vertebrae in his neck fused, they used pieces of cadaver bone to make 'spacers' to take the place of the disk tissue. If he was averse to that notion, he could have had pieces of bone removed from his hip and grafted into the spine instead. Problem is, the site at the hip would be more painful and take longer to heal than the neck, and it would have prolonged his surgery and recovery time. When asked my opinion, I basically said that as a mechanic, I use parts off of junked cars all the time, so it should not be much different for people. The doctor smirked and nodded in total agreement and we all had a good laugh about it, and so it was done.

It is an ironic coincidence that junkyards are often called 'boneyards'.

The donated bone pieces fused nicely. Used parts saved time and money once again.

[abearius.livejournal.com]

Perhaps I should bring an offering when I come over.

[rootbeer1.livejournal.com]

Perhaps bring over an offering somehow related to legs? Like an ice cream Drumstick?

[alpenhorn.livejournal.com]

The bodies of dead murderers are often donated by their families so the chances of your having a killer bone in your body are pretty good.

Feel all better now?

And God Said "Let No Dog Pee On This Leg"

[foodpoisoningsf.livejournal.com]

I want to say something about the "greater than the sum of his parts" but I'm not sure where it will lead.

Holy leg relic

[fatherbear.livejournal.com]

So when we meet you we'll have to get on our knees and venerate your leg with kisses and incense. :)

Re: Holy leg relic

[rootbeer1.livejournal.com]

I thought you were planning to do that anyway??

Re: Holy leg relic

[fatherbear.livejournal.com]

Well now I have two reasons to do it.

So...

[huxbear.livejournal.com]

> I have a holy relic in my leg.

You're just saying that so we'll all get on our knees before you and worship...

Heh...

Vicodin is neat... It makes men so...pliable... [[winks]]

[rootbeer1.livejournal.com]

I'm just surprised that no one has made a crack about this not being the first bone of another person that's been in my body!

[orange-groves.livejournal.com]

Gee, that couldn't be the first bone of another person inside your body, could it??

Or does that qualify as a muscle?

[orange-groves.livejournal.com]

Remember what happened to Colin Clive in MAD LOVE!

[bearhedded.livejournal.com]

It makes all your pants into reliquaries, too!

[keanubear.livejournal.com]

Your leg is so fancy!

But then so it is the rest of you!

Hum.

[hercbear.livejournal.com]

I have a little bone I'd like to donate to the cause. :-)

[pagerbear.livejournal.com]

So these legs will be reaching heavenward with even greater regularity?

[texwriterbear.livejournal.com]

I'm sure there are many bones to offer to the holy one after he heals ;-)

[hotelbearsf.livejournal.com]

Tell me, does your leg do blessings and conduct marriages? If so, have I got a job for you!!!

[beeftenderloin.livejournal.com]

*places frankincense and myrrh at Steve's feet*

[winstonthriller.livejournal.com]

Thanks a lot for the gold and frankincense, er, but don't worry too much about the myrrh next time.

[redbackfur.livejournal.com]

As if I couldn't comment on this one! I piss through a murder victim's kidney. And have I yet become possessed yet? Hee hee. Maybe a bit evil. now.

[boyshapedbox.livejournal.com]

I can't wait to meet you, but if your Leg bone starts crying blood, or forms bruises that look like Jesus....I'm going to have to sell you on ebay.

[kj.livejournal.com]

Hrmf! I didn't get a relic!

[redbeardedblond.livejournal.com]

holy relics, batman!

[toonbear.livejournal.com]

So Steve, the hallucinatory period of recovery seems to have settled in nicely, and just as I was getting to know you. Of course you may have to laugh in my face when you are bodily lifted into the heavens, leg first of course, all the while screaming for refills on the vicodin.

[bearfinch.livejournal.com]

All the best with your recovery, I think that bone graft thing is pretty common, and I have even heard stories about people getting fragments of bone from a cow.

I was rather sad to see that you had dropped me off your list this morning, so, if we don't talk again, all the best in your recovery...

[rootbeer1.livejournal.com]

Eek! How'd THAT happen?

[bearfinch.livejournal.com]

What, the cow bone graft or the friends thing?

This has been happening to my list lately, people randomly bouncing on and off it...