More of the same

So on the way to qbear's workplace, we passed a sign by an alley that said TRUCKS NOT ADVISED.

"I'm sorry, Truck," Jack said. "I can't help you with this one."

* * *
That reminded us of our other favorite sign, coming over the hill into the Castro. When we see it, we often say, "You did an exellent work, and I'm giving you an A-plu-- no! An F! You get an F!"

The sign? ABRUPT GRADE CHANGE.

* * *

Near that sign the other day, we saw a pair of shoes thrown over a telephone line. You usually see sneakers thrown up this way (for whatever reason), but this being the Castro, they were red and sequined.

Ruby slippers.

* * *

Another sign we liked to see on the way to work was the sign for the Lady Baltimore Bakery, in the Mission. The sign featured an illustration of a woman with half-lidded eyes, but is now gone.

"I miss that picture of Lady Baltimore, stoned out of her gourd, holding a giant piece of cake," Jack said. "What could be more San Francisco than that?"

* * *

As we approached Jack's workplace, we could see across the water, under the Bay Bridge.

"Look how close Yerba Buena Island looks," Jack said. "It's like you could reach out and touch it."

"Some days it looks even closer," I said.

"Some days it is," Jack said.

"What, it moves?"

"Yes, just to mess with your head."

* * *

So later on I'm driving Jack back from the opthomologist, where his eyes were dilated, making his pupils big and black.

"I've never had my eyes dilated so big," he said.

"If you dilate another few centimeters, you could give birth out of your eyes," I said.

"If I did," he replied, "... it would have to be a see-section."